


Daises And The Color Yellow

by OIKAWA_KINNIE



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, F/F, Haikyuu - Freeform, Iwa-chan, Oikawa - Freeform, Suicide, iwaoi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:15:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29684520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OIKAWA_KINNIE/pseuds/OIKAWA_KINNIE
Summary: "Just know, you were once my yellow and still are."~~~~~~~~No please come back._________________TW:Suicide
Relationships: Iwazuimi Hajime x Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 5





	Daises And The Color Yellow

“You're my yellow.” I remember telling you that. The day after graduation. In the daisy field. I also remember the day before, graduation, you told me you thought you might be bi. I was ecstatic. I thought that maybe, just maybe I had a chance… but then the day in the daisy field happened. We were just lying there, taking in the sun and spending our last little bit together before we headed our separate ways. I don’t know why, but I thought ‘it has to be now’. 

“Hey Iwa?”

“What Shittykawa?’’

“.. You’re my yellow.” You knew exactly what I meant… but you also flipped out.

“God damnit Oikawa!” You yelled. “I just told you that I THINK I might be bi and you go and pull this shit.” 

I was already crying. I was in a vulnerable state and here you were yelling at me. I knew I couldn’t be mad. Because I knew you were right. It was selfish of me, but I still did it. 

“I-I’m sorry.” I choked out before running away.

“Oikawa wait.” I heard you yell. I didn’t stop. I just kept running.

I ran. I ran until my everything gave out. At this point I didn’t know where I was, my lungs were burning as I gasped for air, I felt a sting on my cheeks from all the tears, I felt my knee aching in agony telling me to stop. So, I did. I looked around and saw I was on a hill. It was nice. It was high up. The sun was setting. It was peaceful. I felt calm. So, I just stayed there for a bit.

It was almost midnight by the time I got back home. “Tooru where have you been? Are you ok?” My mom asked with very evident worry. I didn’t blame her. I wasn’t doing too great then, but of course you didn’t know that. 

“I’m fine Mom.” I reply.

I shut myself off from everything after that. Didn’t leave my house. Only left my room to get food. Didn’t respond to anyone except my mom and sister. You should know that. I never answered any of your texts and I still haven’t. 

I spent the two weeks I had before I left moping and thinking. Thinking about our past. 

Like our first won volleyball game in middle school. Do you remember that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“YEAH!” I yelled. “LOOK WE DID IT!” I told you excitedly. You ran over to me and high fived me. 

“Yeah of course we did because we have the best setter like ever.” You told me with the biggest smile.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
That day was really important. At least for me. I don’t know what about it, maybe it was your smile, your confidence in me, the sleepover we had after, but that was the day I realized. I didn’t like girls, I liked boys and the boy I liked was you. And I’m so sorry I never let you have that final realization. That was pretty shitty of me.

That also reminds me of another important time for me. It was halfway through our first year at highschool. I bet you know what I’m getting at.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“Iwa I have something really important to tell you.” I said. You looked at me concerned, probably because I had tears in my eyes. 

“Oikawa, what’s wrong?” You asked.

“Nothing. Just nervous.”

“You can tell me anything you know that.” 

“R-right. W-well um-I.. I’m gay…”

“Oh Ok.”

“Y-your not mad.” You looked at me weird.

“No why would I be mad. Now we have to get to practice.” I smiled.

“Yeah your right.” I said, Then we made our way to the gym.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were so understanding and it made me feel amazing (I’m sorry I couldn’t be that understanding or patient). I remember another time you were super understanding. It was long before everything went down actually. I remember interrupting our little study session and you being so supportive and it was great.

~~~~~~~~~~~  
I sighed and set down my book. “Hey Iwa.”

“What’s up Shittykawa.” 

“I- I’m not staying in Japan… I’m moving to Argentina.” You looked at me with wide eyes.

“What are you talking about.” You said frantically.   
“Japan is my homo and always will be, but I’m not meant for here.” I replied. “Don’t worry it’s not like I’d just drop out of your life. Besides you want to become a trainer for the Japan National team and I want to play on the Argentina National team. So we’ll see each other at the olympics in a few years if anything. I promise”

“Yeah your right. Sorry just kinda freaked out. I’ll wish you the best Tooru.” You smiled and I smiled and we went back to work.

~~~~~~~~  
I’m sorry for breaking our promise. I swear it was never my intention back then, but then again times change. 

At the end of those two weeks I headed to the airport. You had no reason to be there after what I did. I even ignored you for two weeks, but for some reason I was still hopeful. You weren’t there though. That’s when I knew. Nothing would be the same.

Now here we are two years later. I continued to ignore you, I ignored everyone from back home. Even my family. I broke my promise to everyone and I hope you never forgive me for that because you shouldn’t. 

Anyways the two year anniversary of the daisy field came. I never forgave myself for it and I don’t know why, but that same voice was back. “It’s time.” So, I went to the store, bought some daisies, wrote this letter to you, and did it. I was no longer haunted by my selfish act and I was no longer a bother to you.

I love you Iwa-chan. I always have. I never stopped. Just know, you were once my yellow and always will be. Goodbye.”

~~~~~~~~~~~  
I cried. I couldn’t believe it. Please no. Tell me it isn’t real. Oikawa come back. I need my yellow.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank You all for reading. One of my better works in my opinion.


End file.
